Five Ways to Conquer Inconsistency

Self-Coaching 101! Today’s Topic: Inconsistency Lately I've been thinking a lot about inconsistency. Truth be told, I've been feeling a little frustrated (Okay, a LOT frustrated) with myself around my lack of consistency lately, especially when it comes to my entrepreneurial journey. So today, I got to thinking. Why not coach myself through this? I know I have practised self-coaching in the past, and I have experienced great results (I am a great coach, you know), so why not see if I can't make some headway with this problem today? What the heck? It is raining after all. So the first question I ask myself is, "Why do I struggle so much with inconsistency?" Is this another part of NOT SHOWING UP FOR MYSELF? Is this another HABITUAL BEHAVIOUR? When did it start? What makes me stay inconsistent? How bad is it? Is there another way I could reframe it? How can I begin to overcome it and start showing up for myself and my life? I’m sure there are many things that, if I did them more consistently, I would find more success. I know intellectually that this is a fact, for I have proven it to myself many, many times in the past. But while it’s one thing to know something intellectually, it is a completely different thing to be able to implement it into one’s life. So let’s spend some time delving into this idea around consistency, or more importantly, my seeming lack thereof. I’ve known for a long time now that I am an adventurer by nature. I get bored easily, I have trouble focusing on times, I thrive on change and continuous improvement, and I greatly desire adversity and variety. Yes, I have found ways to be more consistent in the past. I’ve managed to keep several jobs for years; I’ve held down long term relationships; I’ve trained for and completed the Tely10 Road Race; and I have consistently been dedicated to personal growth for many, many years. So how is it that I have succeeded to do those things for such a long period of time, but when it comes to following through on my own entrepreneurial endeavours, it seems I have more eggs in more baskets than I could ever hope to possibly count, let alone bring to any level of completion. I think about the myriad of projects I am “currently” working on; about the number of books I am “currently” reading; about the number of open tabs I have on my computer (“currently” 18…); about the plethora of ideas I have waiting in the queue for consideration; the number of friends I am long overdue to contact; the multitude of unwritten books I have started but not followed through on; and, of course, when I find myself too overwhelmed to tackle any of that, there’s always the half dozen television series I’ve started but haven’t yet completed. Seems to be some kind of pattern here, does it not? "So what's up with all that anyway?", I ask myself. Wait, could it be that I am FICKLE??? Perhaps. But being a coach, and someone who has been pretty dedicated in the past, my assumption is automatically that there could be something else at play here. So let’s dive a little deeper. My next thought takes me back to the statement I made about the need for variety . While it is true, that I did learn long ago just how much I was driven by the need for certainty , I also know I happen to thrive on variety. As a trauma survivor, my need for stability, security, comfort and predictability has driven me for much of my life. But all along, have I secretly harboured a desire for the unknown ? The answer to that would be an emphatic “Yes!” I think about those jobs I’ve held down (and been highly committed to), and I wonder about how I was able to stay consistent for them. That answer comes easy, because of the money. I had a good amount of certainty that I would get paid. Work = Pay. No rocket science there, Tamara. So the fact is that there was an outcome that I could be certain about . Could this be what has been lacking around my entrepreneurship? A quote from Tony Robbins comes into mind. “Most people will never attempt to make their dreams come true, because deep down they don’t really believe it is possible for them. And if you don’t believe that something is possible for you, then why are you even going to try?” Anyone who has ever even attempted any kind of an entrepreneurial venture knows that there is no greater uncertainty in the world. The outcome for many is not only so often unclear, but it is also hugely risky. Entrepreneurship, as enticing as it is for some of us, usually comes with only one guarantee – it is guaranteed to require a herculean effort with little to no guarantee of success . This is actually the reason why most new businesses fail. So could this be why “ I ” have yet to succeed? How would it change things if I could give myself a greater guarantee of success? Is it even possible for me to do that? And how? One would have to consider the potential for increasing the likelihood of a predictable outcome . Could it be that my problem stems from an internal conflict between what it is that I REALLY want, and what I am conditioned or have programmed myself to seek? I think so. There is a decision I feel I need to make, in terms of what I am willing to sacrifice, in order to pursue my real goals. Do I like staying comfortable and secure? Yes. But I already know that my current situation does not provide me with anything but an illusion of security. It may feel comfortable and safe for the moment, but I also know that there is no certainty in an uncertain future. In fact, my current situation represents more financial insecurity than I have ever had in my entire adult life . And while I know that this is true, I don’t feel it emotionally , because it isn’t the reality that I am experiencing ' right now '. And what will humans do almost anything to avoid ? The answer to that, is “ Pain .” Okay, so I understand that I am more emotionally connected to the safety and the security of being stuck where I am now, but how can I get more emotionally in tune with the pain that is coming in the future? I know with 100% certainty how I am going to feel about having to go back to another job. But have I been holding off on facing that reality, because once again, I am enjoying the comfort of the moment? I think about how Tony Robbins taught me that if you want to change a self-destructive behaviour, then you have to figure out a way to make the new behaviour more rewarding . So do I need to set up a reward system for myself so that when I accomplish a task that I need to do, I can experience something that makes me feel really AMAZING ? The answer is YES!!! This, I know from my training in Strategic Intervention , will create a new neural pathway in my brain, thus creating a new, more effective and more productive HABIT. SO WHAT COULD THAT REWARD BE? Here is a list of ideas for how I can reward myself for accomplishing a goal: Celebrate – Do a dance, listen to my favourite music, go for a walk, etc. Give myself praise - Remind myself how good I am doing Buy myself an article of clothing - Something I normally wouldn't Treat myself to a warm bath, a massage, an hour of television or reading Do something for myself that feels "luxurious" and gives me an opportunity to feel how it feels to be pampered Another way that I could try to resolve this problem is to make it more of a game; a game of curiosity and challenge . Each week, I could challenge myself to get more engagement than the last. This would help me to change my focus from the mundane and energy consuming effort to the excitement and satisfaction of succeeding with each small challenge. Instead of allowing myself to stay comfortable and secure in my procrastination, I could also set up some kind of "physical penance" for myself, if I fail to accomplish a particular task. One example of this would be that every time I make the decision to leave an important task unfinished, I will force myself to suffer the consequences by completing 10 pushups. Knowing that I will face this self-imposed penance will encourage me to keep going. I've also learned that I have the ability to change the meaning of what success actually has to look like for me. It is common knowledge, for example, that if you break down a larger goal into smaller pieces that it becomes more manageable. One way I could implement this idea would be to make a decision about what I want to accomplish with each task I set for myself. Rather than requiring an outcome related to something external and out of my control (such as the amount of engagement I get), I could set myself a goal more related to something I can control, such as the number of places I share something on social media, or the number of posts I complete in a week. Lastly, I think it would be a good idea (in an effort to create more consistency), if I were to continue meditating and setting aside a specific amount of time each morning to focus on reviewing my "Future Snapshot", or what my desired future will look like ; allowing myself to experience the positive emotions related to accomplishing my future goals. This, as I mentioned in my most recent video, is one way I can put more energy into creating the future I want, versus focusing the majority of my time on my present problems. When I think about it now, it makes perfect sense that I have had trouble being consistent in my business. When there is no immediate pay-off, when there is no guarantee of a particular result, when all there is is the thought of work and paying bills, then there is no motivation to keep going. It feels as if you are throwing darts in the dark. So I believe that by creating a more predictable outcome for myself that I know I can control; creating a reward system to help me celebrate my successes; turning my challenges into a game of curiosity and excitement; challenging myself with a physical penance; changing my definition of success and setting aside dedicated time to hone in on emotions attached to accomplishing my goals , should help me immensely to conquer my own inconsistency around my entrepreneurial journey from now on. So what do you think? Does any of this resonate with any of you? If so, I'd love to hear about it! Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments and ideas below. I look forward to hearing from you! What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below or call (709) 743-6426 to schedule your free Consultation Session today! Complimentary Consultation Session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , or on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com . #Inconsistency #Stress #Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Courage #PersonalPower #PersonalStandards #Authenticity