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3 Things Burnout Has Taught Me About Handling Stress

Truth be told, I think I've always been stressed; probably because I inherited 'the worry habit'. I've laid awake nightly for most of my life, worrying and fretting about everything from work and finances to kids and weight. When I look back on it all now, I don't think there was ever a time in my life that I wasn't stressed about something. As troublesome as stress can be sometimes though, there are also plenty of ways that we can find a practical use for it in our lives. Stress can help hold us accountable to commitments we've made; it can nudge us towards making decisions we've been holding off on making; it can force us to learn and to grow by pushing us out of our comfort zones, and it can also encourage us to take action in times where we find ourselves frozen in fear. Like I think most people do, however, I've always viewed stress as something that was bad. And of course, stress can be bad when it gets out of control, or if it continues in an unhealthy way or at an unhealthy level for an extended period of time. After all, stress isn't something that humans were designed to carry in large amounts over the long-term. Much like anything else, stress is something we need to examine closely, in order to get a better understanding of how it's impacting us in our lives. I was actually forced to do this when I suffered from burnout just a few short months ago, and out of all I've gained from going through this experience, it is a much keener sense of awareness that has been the greatest benefit of all to me thus far. We all know that unmanaged stress can take a major toll on the body, but most of us have no idea what that can actually look like when it finally comes to a head. For me, I had known for months that it was becoming unmanageable, but much like everyone else seems to do, I thought I could just keep pushing through it. My body had been doing everything it could to get my attention, and even though I was aware of what it was saying, I guess I just wasn't listening loudly enough. It was during those eventual excruciating, middle of the night panic attacks, with my heart and head pounding and my body freezing as the blood rushed to my organs to protect me, that I was finally able to hear what my body had been trying and was ultimately forced to scream into my consciousness. I really needed to stop what I was doing. Could I have saved myself from all that agony if I had listened to my body a bit sooner? Without a doubt. But the beautiful thing about life, even with all of it's trials and tribulations, is that there is ALWAYS something positive that can come out of any situation - you just have to be willing to look for it. Fortunately, that skill is something I have managed to incorporate into my life. For me, in regards to my own situation, there are almost too many positives to count. I've not only learned some really valuable lessons about building boundaries, practising self care and allowing yourself to process through and actually feel your emotions, but I've also gained an acute awareness around my own personal limitations. I don't believe it's really necessary for everyone to have to go through as traumatic and painful an experience as I did, in order to reap the benefits of listening to your body, but I do feel it's worth sharing what you've learned so that other people can benefit from your experiences. If you've been feeling like stress has been impacting you in your life, and you think you might be interested in doing some examination of your own, I'd like to offer you some ideas that could help. Here are 3 Things Burnout Has Taught Me About Handling Stress: Remember that stress is simply a signal - nothing more, nothing less. We can perceive it as a villain or a threat, but it only becomes so when we continually choose to ignore it. Stress is simply our body's natural way of alerting us that something is wrong. The key is to pay attention to it, to examine where it's coming from and what it is trying to tell you, and then act accordingly. But just like any of your other bodily defences, it can't help you if you keep resisting or fighting it. Stress can provide you with an incredible amount of information. Your body is an amazing and extremely intelligent system. The more you become mindful about how it works, the more benefits you can glean from it. When you become attuned to your stress, you will begin to learn so much more about what matters to you, what triggers you, what your limitations are, when you need to change direction and even which direction you need to go. Learning to pay attention to my stress has also taught me where I need to set boundaries, when I need to distance myself and when I need to practise better self-care. On top of all that, I've also learned that when faced with a challenge I've been struggling with for some time, it forces me to consider different ways of looking at things so I can come up with a better solution. Stress doesn't just come and go, it fluctuates based on conditions. Life's natural laws are powerful forces to behold. Our subconscious minds are directly and immediately responsive to the suggestions of our conscious minds. Deep down, our truth is constantly communicating to us about where our true north star lies. Our varying levels of stress give us the ability to navigate towards that north star, because the further we move away from it, the greater our stress level becomes . When used intelligently, our stress can become a virtual guidance system, because once you're paying attention, you'll notice that it will redirect you when choosing things that aren't meant for you. How brilliant is that? Ultimately, burnout caused me to step back and really re-evaluate everything in my life. It was more than a difficult and painful way to learn, but it has given me the opportunity to recognize so much more about what is and isn't good for me. If I had to get completely knocked out in order to get it, then I have to take responsibility for that and find a way to make the most of it, which is exactly what I need and intend to do. Stress may not be the most comfortable way for your body to communicate with you, but when you think about it, that's actually kind of the whole point. Discomfort is, after all, the only thing that ever drives people to create positive change in their lives. What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below or call (709) 743-6426 to schedule your free Consultation Session today! Complimentary Consultation Session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , or on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com . #Stress #Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Courage #PersonalPower #PersonalStandards #Authenticity

5 Brilliant Ways Self-Help Can Help You

Let's face it, there's nothing worse than being in pain. The longer it goes on, the worse the pain seems to get, and unfortunately for us, without the help of Self-Help, that's usually where our cognitive function seems to go out the window. Experiencing emotional pain for an extended period of time often leads to an incredible amount of emotional turmoil. Our stress levels continually rise; conflict typically increases, and our sense of self-worth can often become muted at best, if not completely obliterated. It’s very common to feel lost and overwhelmed when we are struggling in some area of our life. Those moments of anguish and confusion can create so much tension and drama; our critical thinking will often become inhibited, communications can frequently break down and all this can cause our intimate relationships to become strained and overburdened. In addition to the myriad of challenges we all face in our everyday lives and relationships, many of us are also carrying emotional baggage from the past. This can impact our ability to see things clearly, to rationalize and to find healthy ways to deal with our stress. There may be times we even begin questioning our own judgement and we often don’t know where to turn for support. Enter the Self-Help Industry. My own self-help journey began many, many years ago, when I originally began to find myself struggling in my marriage. I had already found " The Oprah Winfrey Show " on television and had been watching sporadically for several seasons by the time I came across Dr. Phil McGraw . Oprah had been featuring Dr. Phil on some of her episodes, and I really liked the no-nonsense way he seemed to approach the different issues they had been covering at the time. I had also come to know, like and trust Oprah, because she seemed to me to be a very authentic and caring person. If she trusted Dr. Phil to know his business, I guess it only seemed logical for me to trust him as well. That's where my journey into the Self-Help realm really got started. I ended up purchasing a couple of Dr. Phil's books and eventually, many, many other books by various experts in the field. I began to learn a LOT about myself, and I haven't really ever looked back since . It's been a very, very long time since then, and boy have I done my research in the area of Self-Help and Personal Growth!
It actually took me years to figure out why I was in so much pain back when I started my self-help journey. I had so much to learn about people, about myself and about the world. I had to learn that we all have the same needs we are trying to meet, that we are all in need of understanding and compassion, and that we can’t help people as long as we are judging them. Self-help has literally done so much for my self-esteem and for my life in general. It has given me the ability to develop broader and healthier perspectives, to understand myself and others better, to bounce back faster and more effectively from set-backs and to also help other people who are struggling with different aspects of their lives.
Here are Five Brilliant Ways That Self-Help Can Help You: It reminds you that you are in control . The label is what initially compelled me to study the field of Self-Help. I was drawn to the notion that I could choose to help myself. Over the years, as I've faced many challenges, opportunities and setbacks, I have found that I am able to navigate them with much more certainty and objectiveness because of the things I have learned. Any time I find myself feeling frustrated, I know that all I have to do is turn to self-help. Listening to my mentors helps me to remember that I get to choose where I am going. It reminds me that at any given point in time, I get to choose the story I am telling myself and others about my life; I get to choose what I am focused on and in turn, I get to choose my emotional state. It lets me know that I have the ability to take control over my body, my thoughts, my language, my attitude and ultimately my life. It reminds you that you can change absolutely anything with the right perspective . One of the reasons I love listening to positive people is that it reminds me that there is always a way to spin something in a positive and more empowering way. Learning this has literally changed my life. It is a very powerful thing to know that you don't have to be owned by anything negative that you experience in your life. Being able to see something in a new way gives us the opportunity to take back our power, shift our views and take action from a place of confidence and self-worth. It gives you new insight . I have literally learned so much through reading self-help books and listening to positive, self-help mentors. Each time I learn a new nugget of wisdom I get to add it to my personal arsenal of tools I can use to help myself and other people. And the best part is, once you learn something new that can help yourself and others, no one can take it away from you ever again. Each new idea, each new tool or strategy or way of thinking that you achieve goes with you for the rest of your life, and you can use it again and again, in different situations at different times and in different stages of your life. There is always something available for every single issue you might have . After studying and practising self-help and personal growth for as many decades as I have, I've learned that there is quite literally nothing that can't be improved, accomplished or addressed with self-help . While there may be times when you have an experience in your life that you can't change, there is always something you can do about the way that you deal with it or perceive it. One of the many benefits of the world-wide web is that it now gives us instant access to millions of resources at the touch of a button. After all this time, it's still amazing to me how easy it is to find information online. It helps you to understand and empathize with others on a much deeper level. I can't begin to tell you how much I've learned about what it is that drives human behaviour. I've learned that we are all connected by the same source and that each of us is doing the best that we can with what we have available to us in the moment. I've learned that we can't help people as long as we are judging them; that we need to learn to become curious about them if we want to help them, and that we are all capable of creating massive positive lasting change in our lives. Looking back now, I think I would have done just about anything to find a resolution to the problems I had in my marriage all those years ago. Unfortunately for my family, the information and the resources I really needed at the time ended up coming a bit too late. The good news for you, if you're reading this and you find yourself struggling like I was, chances are it's not too late for you to learn the things I only wish I had known back then. Regardless of your situation, there really are logical reasons why we all do the things that we do. The same forces that drive you are also driving the people that you love. When you are not aware of what those driving forces are, however, and you find yourself in conflict with yourself or other people, you become frustrated and often end up feeling hopeless about your own situation. It’s important for you to know that this doesn't always have to be the case. While it is true that self-help can provide you with a wonderful wealth of information that can literally transform your life and relationships, it isn’t always necessary to go it alone. As you can see from my experience, it can take a considerable amount of time to find exactly what you need at the time that you actually need it most. In addition to that, when you have a family, career, housework and social responsibilities, it really can be challenging to find the time to go searching for the right kind of help. I’ve spent many thousands of hours researching self-help and personal growth over the years, and I was fortunate enough to find a solution so effective that it has enabled me to help clients overcome all kinds of personal challenges in a very short amount of time. It’s still amazing to me how much my perspective on so many things has changed. I actually used to believe that it was impossible to change certain aspects of your personality. I didn’t know you could transform anything in your life by learning how to change your story, and I had no idea that one day I would be in a position to help people solve their problems and ultimately change their lives. (If you'd like to learn more, click here .) Whatever path you choose to take, you need to remember that self-help is always available. And who knows? You might just find a few brilliant ways self-help can help you! What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below or call (709) 743-6426 to schedule your free Consultation Session today! Complimentary Consultation Session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , or on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com . #Self-Help #Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Courage #PersonalPower #PersonalStandards #Authenticity I’ve used Strategic Intervention Coaching to help people ( just like you) to : Stop self-destructive habitual behaviours that were costing them time, money, their self-esteem and even their health; Save a marriage to someone who was actually a perfect match for them; someone who would prove to love them unconditionally and would ultimately become their greatest support system; Change an outdated belief system that had been critically impacting their mental and emotional health for most of their life; Discover and unleash a massive personal power within them, that not only helped them to achieve greater results but more importantly to create a life that they love; Gain the clarity, stability and perspective they needed to navigate an overwhelming traumatic experience that nearly cost them their life! ​ If you want to see what some of my clients are saying about their achievements, you can check it out here .

5 Top Tips to Build Your Self Confidence

Some things just never fail when it comes to making us feel good about ourselves, and there are many, many things we could focus on, strive for or aim to be in our lives. One of the greatest and most powerful of these though is the ability to have Self Confidence. We all want to feel a sense of Certainty about ourselves - to be able to feel good about who we are and what we stand for and even where we are headed. Self Confidence enables us to ask for and strive for what we want; it gives us the ability to be assertive and let people know where we stand, and it helps us to see and believe that we are capable of anything. Without Self Confidence, we seem to lack the energy to do much of anything. We find excuses rather than reasons, we find victimhood instead of personal power, and we definitely find plenty of examples that prove our own unworthiness (to confirm the limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves.) Through my own process of personal growth and development in the area of Self Confidence, I have noticed that there are a number of pieces that have proven to be more effective and more powerful than others. With that in mind, I'd like to share a few of them with you. Here are 5 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence: Set Goals and Then Take Immediate Action. Progress equals happiness! Think about setting some priorities that you would like to accomplish and then go and do the first one on your list. The very moment you take the initiative to tackle your first item, you begin to raise your self esteem. Every time you are able to cross off another item on your list, you will be lifting yourself to a higher level of satisfaction and self worth. When you start making any kind of progress towards your goals, you will immediately begin to notice how much better you feel. Get to the Gym or Start Some Kind of Exercise Program. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING in the world will raise your self esteem faster or more effectively than exercise. It is time tested and proven, and guaranteed to have you feeling better about yourself and your abilities in no time at all. One of the best benefits is that it doesn't really matter how you do it - only that you find some way to get your body moving and your heart pumping - and I speak from experience when I tell you that even walking will make a difference. Lace up those sneakers and get going! Make a Real Decision . Any time we have something lingering in our lives that requires our attention and our focus, it has a way of draining us of energy. We can ponder over things for days, weeks, months and even years without really making a definitive decision one way or another. This dodging reduces our self confidence and eventually makes us feel powerless and out of control. Choose something today that you may have been avoiding dealing with for some time and make a definite decision about it. Whether it ends up being a good decision or a bad one, at least you will be making progress and you will be able to feel good about the fact that you were able to come to some kind of conclusion. Trust yourself - you can do it! Let Go of the Longing . I could literally write books on this subject because it is one of the most powerful things you could ever do. Let go of the longing or the belief that you need anything. I'm not referring to the obvious needs here - eating, drinking, sleeping, shelter. What I am referring to is the longing...the desire to have something that you don't believe you currently have. Everything in life happens exactly when it's supposed to and not before. Trying to rush things, force things or will things to happen at the pace you want is futile and nonsensical. It is a tremendous relief when you become willing to let go of that need for control. Do yourself a favour and make a decision today to relax and let nature take its course. Learn to Accept Who You Are . This is, by far, the most pain inducing and most prevalent problem in our society today. The vast majority of the population feel as though they are not enough. Why? Because it is our deepest fear; and the meaning that we attach to that fear is that if we are not enough, then we won't be loved. You can change the way that you feel in a heartbeat and at any time, by choosing to believe that you are enough. Love begins and ends with us. We can only experience as much love as we are willing to give. It is reciprocal. When we begin from a place that is lacking or empty, then it affects our ability to experience love in every way. Understand that you do not have to be, do or achieve anything to be worthy of love. The only thing that impedes your ability to experience and receive it is your inability to love and accept yourself. There may be things that you don't like about yourself, and there's nothing wrong with aiming higher and wanting to raise our own personal standards. As human beings, we are meant to grow. But learning to become confident in yourself and your abilities will take you a long way towards being able to feel the way you want to feel on a daily basis. Remember that "As you think, so shall you become". Believing that you are anything other than extraordinary is doing yourself and everyone else in the world a disservice. You must believe that you are worthy, deserving and capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to. That belief, after all, is the only thing that is required to make it possible. If you would like to have some help crafting a vision for your life or eradicating your limiting beliefs, please contact me to find out how you can take advantage of my complimentary, one-on-one, 2 hour Coaching Consultation. This free session can help you get to the core of your deepest desires and give you the opportunity to create a powerful and impactful purpose driven plan for 2017! About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and Life Strategist, trained by Robbins Madanes. She has spent the better part of a half century studying, researching and learning about personal growth and development, self-help, spirituality, leadership, success, achievement and philosophy. She is a writer, philosopher, life coach, mother, fitness enthusiast, nature lover, book fanatic and divine being of infinite possibilities. She is also the proud author of "Designing Your Life - A Guide to Help You Consciously Create Your Future" and has recently released a new educational program called "2017 - Your Year of Transformation." You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services, on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com, or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com. #Confidence #SelfEsteem #SelfWorth #PersonalPower #Progress #Decisions

5 Ways to Streamline Your Life

Everybody wants a simpler, easier and happier life, but what does it really take to get it? Many of us spend countless hours searching for something that will alleviate the pressure, lighten our load or make our lives easier to manage. Instead of looking outside of ourselves to find answers, though, it is often much cheaper and much more effective to seek solutions inside ourselves. Ultimately, after all, this is where our circle of influence typically begins and ends. On that note, I've created the following 5 Step Process to help you streamline your life so that you can get to the things that are important to you and alleviate stress at the same time. If you're ready to make your life easier and more enjoyable, then let's begin! Here are 5 Ways to Streamline Your Life: Consider what you are allowing or tolerating in your life from yourself, your environment, your career, your co-workers, your boss, your family, your children, your spouse, your friends, your neighbours, and any other people you come into contact with on a regular basis. When you think of something that you don't feel good about, ask yourself, "Why am I accepting this if it doesn't align with who I am or where I am headed?" Also ask yourself if these things are good for yourself and others, or are they detracting from yourself or other people. If something is having a negative impact, maybe the time has come to deal with it. Could it be that you have neglected to set healthy boundaries for yourself and others? Could it be that you have been enabling other people because it has helped you meet your own needs? Could it be that you suffered from a lack of self esteem because you have failed to practice self care or have let yourself go? Could you be accepting bad behaviour because of a fear that you hold about your own worthiness and ability to find love and connection? Consider where your energy is being drained, wasted, monopolized, misused or fractured. Think about all the people, all the problems, all the behaviours, all the places, all the ways and all the circumstances that consume your energy and consider whether or not they are necessary and beneficial. Things like social media, television, gossip, news and other forms of distraction may be good ways to keep ourselves entertained, but if they are sucking our energy and taking valuable time away from things that matter, then the only purpose they serve is to take away our power and our progress. Energy is one of our most valuable resources, so it pays to take the time to manage it wisely. Consider all the situations, opportunities, options or choices you currently have on your plate that you have yet to make a definitive decision about. ANY decision that we resist making or spend too much time agonizing over will continue to draw MORE and MORE of our power, focus, energy and attention until it is dealt with. The pain of indecision is always far greater than the risk of making the wrong choice. Take each one and break it down on paper. Hash out the pros and cons, create a list of worst case scenarios and how you will deal with them, ask a friend, hire a mentor, google articles about your issue or just journal about it until you get an answer. But for heaven's sake, just make a decision! Consider all the things you are currently saying YES to, and what the impact of those choices has been on your life. If you are saying YES to these things, what have you been saying NO to? How has that been impacting you up until now? What would happen if you started saying NO to some of these things? Would you be better or worse off than before? As the saying goes, "When one door closes, another one opens." Sometimes, you have to leave something good behind, in order to be able to step into something really GREAT. Consider all the things you have been needing and wanting to do, but haven't yet done. Write each of them down on a piece of paper and take an honest appraisal about what has been truly holding you back. Is it a lack of time, energy, money or some other resource? Is it that you might not really want these things or that they don't really align with you at the moment? What would it take to get you moving on those items if they are something you really do want? What would you have to do or who would you have to become in order to accomplish them? Again, try to attack these items one at a time, rather than all at once. Remember, progress is the key to what makes people truly happy. As long as you are moving forward, your progress will give you the motivation you need to keep you going. What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in? Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below to schedule your free Consultation Session today!
https://www.tamaradodgson.com/consultation-session
Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author
Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com , or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com .
#Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #SelfEsteem #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Needs #Energy #Help #Resistance #Courage

Are You an Egomaniac?

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou
When was the last time any of us thought about how we actually make other people feel? Does anyone ever really even think about it? Most of the time, we are too busy being preoccupied with ourselves to worry about how we are making other people feel. But how is that working out for us, really? We all want healthy and loving relationships with our partners and our children. We all want cooperative, productive and respectful relationships with our colleagues. And we all want trusting, supportive and mutually beneficial relationships with our friends. But if we really want those kinds of relationships in our lives, then we have to be willing to consider what we are doing to create and influence those relationships in the first place. Any time we find ourselves lacking in our relationships, chances are it's because of how we have been behaving and treating the people who are in those relationships with us. If we have a tendency to be very rigid in our expectations of people, it causes people to react to us in ways that they normally wouldn't. Instead of experiencing the relationships that we want, we end up feeling frustrated, isolated, misunderstood, resentful and victimized. While being a controlling dictator can certainly have it's benefits, it does far more damage to our relationships than anyone would ever care to imagine. It may get things done, it may make other people jump to serve us, and it may make us feel competent and important, but at the end of the day, what it really does is make us a mean spirited, self serving, inconsiderate egomaniac. While it may be great to feel the buzz of being superior and important in the moment, how does criticizing or belittling other people actually make us feel after we've done it? Pretty crappy, right? Carrying around a rigid set of expectations sets us and everyone around us up for failure. It means we are going to be consistently disappointed, frustrated, angry and stressed out. It also means that people around us are going to silently resent and loathe us, and do everything they possibly can to avoid us. Being around people who constantly complain, belittle, criticize or gossip about how terrible, irresponsible and useless other people are is exhausting. The truth is that the people who do that are often projecting something onto those people that they actually see in themselves. That something is usually fear. Egomaniacs have the same fear that the rest of us have, the only difference is that they've taken it to a whole new level. When an egomaniac shouts at you for being so stupid or useless or incompetent, what they're really saying is, "Look, you're not making me look or feel good and I can't handle that, because I am terrified that someone is going to discover the truth, and that truth is that I am not enough!" The key to creating positive, lasting and healthy relationships is to become willing to question ourselves about our own thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. We have to ask ourselves how our treatment of other people actually makes them feel, and whether or not our thoughts, beliefs and behaviours really align with the person we want to be. The next time you find yourself angry, irritated or frustrated with someone because they failed to meet your expectations, stop yourself before you speak to them. Instead of berating, belittling or criticizing them, why not pause to consider why it is that you feel the way you do? Try to doing an internal check to see if there is something in you that needs to be adjusted, softened or eased up on. Then, when you go to respond to that person, you can address them in a way that reflects the person you really want to be. What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in? Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below to schedule your free Consultation Session today! https://www.tamaradodgson.com/consultation-session

Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change, whether it relates to matters of the individual, couple, family, partnership, company, organization or community. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them a successful and proven methodology for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com , or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com .

Becoming Unbreakable

Let's face it, life can get pretty brutal sometimes. If you're anything like me, you're someone who gives everything you have. You give your all in every job, every relationship, every circumstance and every situation. It doesn't mean you're perfect, and it doesn't mean you don't make mistakes, but what it does mean is that in every aspect of your life, you give with your heart and soul. It's easy to get discouraged when you give everything your all, all the time. No matter how hard you try, the truth is that you just can't control the outcomes that you're hoping for. At the end of the day, you often find yourself wondering if it's worth all the effort you put in. Relationships can end unexpectedly, careers can come crashing down around you, people can often take you for granted and sometimes, you can even find yourself on the losing end of a battle you're not even really sure why you were fighting in the first place. I know what it's like to give everything you have, and at the end of the day you still end up feeling like it wasn't enough. It's not about right or wrong; it's not about winning or losing; it's not even about where you land or how people treated you in the end. It's the feeling of not being recognized or acknowledged for the person you find yourself trying so hard to be. Failure doesn't hurt because you didn't get what you wanted. Failure hurts because it feels like a negative reflection of everything you want to be. When your self worth is tied to your ability to do good in the world, your end goal is to be able to see the results of the effort you put forth. You want to feel like you're making a difference in people's lives. You want to be able to see the benefits of your behaviour and your choices. You want proof that your sacrifices are paying off in terms of results and you want to believe at the end of the day that people will see you for everything you try to do. What's difficult about being someone who invests themselves completely in everything, is that you don't always get to control everything that happens. You don't get to control the results that you get; you don't get to control the way people perceive you; you don't get to control what people do with what you give them and you don't get to control what happens to them when they're finished with you. When life doesn't give you what you hoped for, and your world comes crashing down around you, you have to hold on to the pieces of yourself that matter to you most. You have to hold on to your principles and your values. You have to hold on to your convictions and your sense of self worth. You have to hold on to who you aspire to be and the person you are intent on becoming. And you have to hold on to everything that represents the essence of who you already know you are in your soul. Life can certainly be cruel and unpredictable at times, but you can't ever let it break you. Deep down, you know who you are and what your intentions are, and there will inevitably be times in your life when it feels like that may be all you have left. Nobody ever expects life to always turn out the way that they want. After all, that just isn't the way that life works. For the most part though, life can still be pretty amazing. But every now then, we take a hit that leaves us breathless and feeling broken. The most important thing to remember, is that your mind may be broken but your spirit can never be. Your spirit holds all of your strength and your power, and no amount of pain or sorrow can ever come close to extinguishing it. When you make the decision to never allow anyone else's actions to deter you from who you are; when you choose to remain focused on the things that matter to you most; when you decide to remain committed to doing the best you can for yourself and everyone you know; when you recognize and acknowledge and accept that it isn't your job to carry the burdens or the deeds of other people, then you begin to become unbreakable. What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below or call (709) 743-6426 to schedule your free Consultation Session today! Complimentary Consultation Session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , or on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com . #Stress #Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Courage #PersonalPower #PersonalStandards #Authenticity

Consciously Addressing Our Addictions

Think you don't have any addictions? Think again. We're all addicted to something. Even though our addictions may not all look the same, the mere fact that we're human means that we are all in a position of practising addictive behaviour. According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health , the definition of addiction is as follows: "The word “addiction” is often used to refer to any behaviour that is out of control in some way. People often describe themselves as being addicted to, for example, a TV show or shopping. The word is also used to explain the experience of withdrawal when a substance or behaviour is stopped (e.g., “I must be addicted to coffee: I get a headache when I don’t have my cup in the morning”). However, experiencing enjoyment or going through withdrawal do not in themselves mean a person has an addiction. Because the term “addiction” is commonly used in such a vague way, there have been many attempts to define it more clearly. One simple way of describing addiction is the presence of the 4 Cs: craving loss of control of amount or frequency of use compulsion to use use despite consequences." This page goes on to talk about drug and alcohol addiction, but if you look closely at the definition given above, ANY behaviour that people find themselves craving, lacking control over, feeling a compulsion to do and doing despite the consequences, can be classified as an addiction. Any behaviours coming to mind yet? Strategic Intervention teaches us that all human beings have six basic human needs (Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love & Connection, Growth and Contribution), and those needs are the same for every human being on the planet. When any behaviour meets at least 3 of those needs, especially at a high level consistently, we become addicted to it. If you think about that for a second, you not only begin to realize both the weight and the truth of that statement, but also what it must mean for us in our lives. Human beings have all kinds of different ways of meeting their needs. Some of those ways might be positive, good for us and good for others, or they can be negative, destructive or harmful, especially when continued over a longer period of time. The reasons for choosing certain behaviours though, always remain somewhat the same. The place where we get confused is believing that these behaviours only apply to the very obvious physical and tangible addictions like drugs, alcohol, sex and gambling. But what about things like emotional behaviours, patterns of thought and speech and belief? What kind of impact do these kinds of addictions have on us and our environment? These addictions may be much more elusive and difficult to identify, because they are often hidden or subtle or silent. That doesn't lessen their impact, however, it only serves to give power to them because they remain unnamed. Let's consider for a moment what an addiction to victimhood does to a person who has become afflicted with it? What kind of impact does this behaviour have on the person and the people around them? What does it really mean and why should we really care? We should care, because we are all susceptible to it, and more than likely we have all practised it at some point in our lives. Let's look at a worst case scenario for a moment, just to compare apples with apples. Say you have a person who suffers from victimhood. They believe that everything in life happens to them and that they have no control over anything. They may constantly find themselves in a position of lack and not know why. They may find themselves consistently at odds with other people or may have experienced a string of bad relationships. They may have a history of being mistreated or abused in some way and they may not have any idea about why it is that terrible things just seem to keep happening to them. What kind of stories might they make up in their minds about everything they have experienced in their life thus far? What kind of impact will that story have on them and their future? Because this person has either knowingly or unknowingly chosen victimhood, it is likely that the story that they tell themselves is not going to be a positive or empowering one. They may look for places to lay blame or guilt or fault for their negative experiences. They may decide that they are at the mercy of the universe because they have no control over what happens to them and they may decide that they need to find a way to numb themselves because they don't know what they can do to change their life or the way that they feel. Or they might even do something drastic and make a decision to end their own life because they feel so powerless and out of control. What seems to begin as a minor habitual behaviour becomes the epitome of human suffering. It happens every single day - and the scary part is that it seems to be happening more and more often. It's not about judging people because they practise victimhood either. It's about calling it out so that we can figure out how to deal with it and find a better way. The same can be said of many different behavioural patterns that human beings seem to be afflicted with and suffer as a result of. Refusal to acknowledge or accept the truth of what is; an inability to relinquish the need for control; the habit of negativity or looking for what's wrong or lacking; the constant need to belittle oneself or to gossip/complain about others; the need to project responsibility or guilt onto another; the tendency to treat others with disrespect or callousness; the habit of having unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves; and the list goes on and on. The key to creating a better future has always been and will always be with yourself. We have the opportunity and the responsibility to look at our behaviours, our patterns and our beliefs and assess them for effectiveness and impact. We have the ability to ask ourselves if our patterns of thought, belief, actions and words are helpful and empowering or if they are taking away from our life and our experience. And we have the ability to change anything that does not align with the person we want to be or become. How are your thoughts, beliefs, actions or words meeting your needs? How and why are you choosing them? Are they good for you, good for others and good for the community as a whole, or are they more destructive in nature? What about over the long term? Are these patterns really of benefit to you and everyone around you? And are you able to feel good about your choices and decisions? Anything that we refuse to control we end up giving our power to and it ends up controlling us. The way to begin to take back your power and to control your own life is to take the first step of seeing things how they really are and not how you would like them to be. Make sure you see it a s it is, not worse than it is. Consider how you have been meeting your needs and what the possible payoffs have been up to now. Are there other ways that you could be meeting your needs that would be more beneficial to yourself and others? There is no negative behaviour that can withstand the test of time that will not come back to haunt you if not addressed and dealt with accordingly. If you believe that it is temporary or you've been telling yourself a story about it being harmless or necessary, you may want to think about it again. Not all addictions are the kind that you can see with your eyes - at least not unless you are willing to look closely enough. Judge not the ones that are easy to spot, for those are only the ones that society finds it easy to ridicule. We need to become more concerned about the ones that we suffer from ourselves. That person - the one you see on the street could just as easily be you. Negative Behaviours can cost us our happiness, inhibit us from having the life that we want and keep us from achieving our ultimate goals. With a focused and effective process combined with the guidance of an experienced professional coach, it is possible for you to eradicate your negative behaviours and finally get to experience the life you've always wanted! Contact me to find out how you can take advantage of my complimentary, one-on-one, Strategic Intervention Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back and give you the opportunity to create a powerful and impactful purpose driven plan for 2017! Learn more ... About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and Life Strategist, trained by Robbins Madanes. She has spent the better part of a half century studying, researching and learning about personal growth and development, self-help, spirituality, leadership, success, achievement and philosophy. She is a writer, philosopher, life coach, mother, fitness enthusiast, nature lover, book fanatic and divine being of infinite possibilities. She is also the proud author of " Designing Your Life - A Guide to Help You Consciously Create Your Future " and has recently released a new educational program called "2017 - Your Year of Transformation." You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com , or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com. #Addiction #Behaviour #Habits #Patterns #Cravings #Control #Compulsion #Consequences #Needs #Victimhood #Negativity #Empowerment

Five Ways to Conquer Inconsistency

Self-Coaching 101! Today’s Topic: Inconsistency Lately I've been thinking a lot about inconsistency. Truth be told, I've been feeling a little frustrated (Okay, a LOT frustrated) with myself around my lack of consistency lately, especially when it comes to my entrepreneurial journey. So today, I got to thinking. Why not coach myself through this? I know I have practised self-coaching in the past, and I have experienced great results (I am a great coach, you know), so why not see if I can't make some headway with this problem today? What the heck? It is raining after all. So the first question I ask myself is, "Why do I struggle so much with inconsistency?" Is this another part of NOT SHOWING UP FOR MYSELF? Is this another HABITUAL BEHAVIOUR? When did it start? What makes me stay inconsistent? How bad is it? Is there another way I could reframe it? How can I begin to overcome it and start showing up for myself and my life? I’m sure there are many things that, if I did them more consistently, I would find more success. I know intellectually that this is a fact, for I have proven it to myself many, many times in the past. But while it’s one thing to know something intellectually, it is a completely different thing to be able to implement it into one’s life. So let’s spend some time delving into this idea around consistency, or more importantly, my seeming lack thereof. I’ve known for a long time now that I am an adventurer by nature. I get bored easily, I have trouble focusing on times, I thrive on change and continuous improvement, and I greatly desire adversity and variety. Yes, I have found ways to be more consistent in the past. I’ve managed to keep several jobs for years; I’ve held down long term relationships; I’ve trained for and completed the Tely10 Road Race; and I have consistently been dedicated to personal growth for many, many years. So how is it that I have succeeded to do those things for such a long period of time, but when it comes to following through on my own entrepreneurial endeavours, it seems I have more eggs in more baskets than I could ever hope to possibly count, let alone bring to any level of completion. I think about the myriad of projects I am “currently” working on; about the number of books I am “currently” reading; about the number of open tabs I have on my computer (“currently” 18…); about the plethora of ideas I have waiting in the queue for consideration; the number of friends I am long overdue to contact; the multitude of unwritten books I have started but not followed through on; and, of course, when I find myself too overwhelmed to tackle any of that, there’s always the half dozen television series I’ve started but haven’t yet completed. Seems to be some kind of pattern here, does it not? "So what's up with all that anyway?", I ask myself. Wait, could it be that I am FICKLE??? Perhaps. But being a coach, and someone who has been pretty dedicated in the past, my assumption is automatically that there could be something else at play here. So let’s dive a little deeper. My next thought takes me back to the statement I made about the need for variety . While it is true, that I did learn long ago just how much I was driven by the need for certainty , I also know I happen to thrive on variety. As a trauma survivor, my need for stability, security, comfort and predictability has driven me for much of my life. But all along, have I secretly harboured a desire for the unknown ? The answer to that would be an emphatic “Yes!” I think about those jobs I’ve held down (and been highly committed to), and I wonder about how I was able to stay consistent for them. That answer comes easy, because of the money. I had a good amount of certainty that I would get paid. Work = Pay. No rocket science there, Tamara. So the fact is that there was an outcome that I could be certain about . Could this be what has been lacking around my entrepreneurship? A quote from Tony Robbins comes into mind. “Most people will never attempt to make their dreams come true, because deep down they don’t really believe it is possible for them. And if you don’t believe that something is possible for you, then why are you even going to try?” Anyone who has ever even attempted any kind of an entrepreneurial venture knows that there is no greater uncertainty in the world. The outcome for many is not only so often unclear, but it is also hugely risky. Entrepreneurship, as enticing as it is for some of us, usually comes with only one guarantee – it is guaranteed to require a herculean effort with little to no guarantee of success . This is actually the reason why most new businesses fail. So could this be why “ I ” have yet to succeed? How would it change things if I could give myself a greater guarantee of success? Is it even possible for me to do that? And how? One would have to consider the potential for increasing the likelihood of a predictable outcome . Could it be that my problem stems from an internal conflict between what it is that I REALLY want, and what I am conditioned or have programmed myself to seek? I think so. There is a decision I feel I need to make, in terms of what I am willing to sacrifice, in order to pursue my real goals. Do I like staying comfortable and secure? Yes. But I already know that my current situation does not provide me with anything but an illusion of security. It may feel comfortable and safe for the moment, but I also know that there is no certainty in an uncertain future. In fact, my current situation represents more financial insecurity than I have ever had in my entire adult life . And while I know that this is true, I don’t feel it emotionally , because it isn’t the reality that I am experiencing ' right now '. And what will humans do almost anything to avoid ? The answer to that, is “ Pain .” Okay, so I understand that I am more emotionally connected to the safety and the security of being stuck where I am now, but how can I get more emotionally in tune with the pain that is coming in the future? I know with 100% certainty how I am going to feel about having to go back to another job. But have I been holding off on facing that reality, because once again, I am enjoying the comfort of the moment? I think about how Tony Robbins taught me that if you want to change a self-destructive behaviour, then you have to figure out a way to make the new behaviour more rewarding . So do I need to set up a reward system for myself so that when I accomplish a task that I need to do, I can experience something that makes me feel really AMAZING ? The answer is YES!!! This, I know from my training in Strategic Intervention , will create a new neural pathway in my brain, thus creating a new, more effective and more productive HABIT. SO WHAT COULD THAT REWARD BE? Here is a list of ideas for how I can reward myself for accomplishing a goal: Celebrate – Do a dance, listen to my favourite music, go for a walk, etc. Give myself praise - Remind myself how good I am doing Buy myself an article of clothing - Something I normally wouldn't Treat myself to a warm bath, a massage, an hour of television or reading Do something for myself that feels "luxurious" and gives me an opportunity to feel how it feels to be pampered Another way that I could try to resolve this problem is to make it more of a game; a game of curiosity and challenge . Each week, I could challenge myself to get more engagement than the last. This would help me to change my focus from the mundane and energy consuming effort to the excitement and satisfaction of succeeding with each small challenge. Instead of allowing myself to stay comfortable and secure in my procrastination, I could also set up some kind of "physical penance" for myself, if I fail to accomplish a particular task. One example of this would be that every time I make the decision to leave an important task unfinished, I will force myself to suffer the consequences by completing 10 pushups. Knowing that I will face this self-imposed penance will encourage me to keep going. I've also learned that I have the ability to change the meaning of what success actually has to look like for me. It is common knowledge, for example, that if you break down a larger goal into smaller pieces that it becomes more manageable. One way I could implement this idea would be to make a decision about what I want to accomplish with each task I set for myself. Rather than requiring an outcome related to something external and out of my control (such as the amount of engagement I get), I could set myself a goal more related to something I can control, such as the number of places I share something on social media, or the number of posts I complete in a week. Lastly, I think it would be a good idea (in an effort to create more consistency), if I were to continue meditating and setting aside a specific amount of time each morning to focus on reviewing my "Future Snapshot", or what my desired future will look like ; allowing myself to experience the positive emotions related to accomplishing my future goals. This, as I mentioned in my most recent video, is one way I can put more energy into creating the future I want, versus focusing the majority of my time on my present problems. When I think about it now, it makes perfect sense that I have had trouble being consistent in my business. When there is no immediate pay-off, when there is no guarantee of a particular result, when all there is is the thought of work and paying bills, then there is no motivation to keep going. It feels as if you are throwing darts in the dark. So I believe that by creating a more predictable outcome for myself that I know I can control; creating a reward system to help me celebrate my successes; turning my challenges into a game of curiosity and excitement; challenging myself with a physical penance; changing my definition of success and setting aside dedicated time to hone in on emotions attached to accomplishing my goals , should help me immensely to conquer my own inconsistency around my entrepreneurial journey from now on. So what do you think? Does any of this resonate with any of you? If so, I'd love to hear about it! Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments and ideas below. I look forward to hearing from you! What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below or call (709) 743-6426 to schedule your free Consultation Session today! Complimentary Consultation Session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them successful and proven strategies for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , or on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com . #Inconsistency #Stress #Change #Impact #Solutions #Progress #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Courage #PersonalPower #PersonalStandards #Authenticity

Have Trouble Sticking to the Program?

The most challenging part of trying to initiate any kind of lasting positive change is almost always finding the ability to follow through. We all seem to have the same problems, don’t we? We start out all excited and pumped up, enthralled and enthused by the idea of creating something new in our lives; whether it’s bringing ourselves or our income to a higher level, improving our bodies, our health and our nutrition, growing our business, expanding our skills, widening our social circles or sharpening our minds. Then, slowly, as the days pass, our energy wanes and our enthusiasm begins to drain...and before you know it, those once lofty goals of ours somehow slip into the nothingness that becomes a distant and faded memory from the past. We all see the pattern, we all face the same frustration and we all experience the same anxiety that comes with the plethora of self deprecation which inevitably follows our latest failure. But why does it have to be this way? Why can’t we just do what we said we were going to do and follow through with the goals we set out for ourselves? After all, it is what we really want, isn’t it? Take heart, my fellow achievers, for the good news is that a solution may not be as complicated or as far out of reach as one might typically expect! I’ve done an awful lot of research on this topic over the past few years and I’ve worked with a lot of clients who suffer from these same types of challenges. With that in mind, I would like to offer you the following suggestions: Self Sabotage: We all have a tendency to let things go, particularly when it comes to doing anything that we perceive as work. If we add some kind of story to it or use some particular language which makes it appear even more monotonous or less enjoyable, then the result is a recipe for disaster! Any time we find ourselves struggling to maintain our direction or our momentum, we have to consider how we have been framing what it is that we need to do. We have to think in terms of the language that we put around it, how we think about it and how we talk to ourselves about it. For instance, if you want to develop a new lifestyle habit of going to the gym for exercise, and you think about the fact that it’s going to take a lot of time and energy, chances are you’re not going to feel very enthused about doing it for long. If instead, you think about the way that it is going to make you feel and the results that you’re going to get from doing it, then you are more likely to succeed with your plan. True? Making Bad Choices: On the same token, if you find yourself having trouble trying to make good decisions that will keep you in alignment with your goals, think about the things that you are choosing instead. Every time you say “yes” to one thing, it actually means that you’re saying “no” to something else! One of the ways to deal with this kind of decision making, is to begin making some conscious decisions around what it is that you are actually choosing in the moment. Even though the short term pleasure may seem attractive in that one moment, the long term benefits of making better choices will ultimately have a much greater impact on you in the future. Stay focused on the outcome that you are working towards! Think about how your choices are meeting your needs. Is there something that you’ve been choosing mindlessly because of a need that you have that is not being met? Lots of people eat for example, not because they are hungry but because they are craving connection. Even though the food may help us meet that need in the moment, the long term effect is actually very destructive. Think of other ways that you could meet these same needs without having to suffer from the long term effects of making poor choices. Lack of Energy/Drive/Motivation : These problems are very typical of anybody who is trying to install better habits into their lives, and there are actually a couple of different ways that you may be able to tackle them. First, you may want to think about your emotional state. If you find yourself having trouble following through because you feel tired, bored or disengaged, you can often change your emotional state very quickly by doing something physical with your body. You could dance, run, stretch or maybe even practise some yoga in order to get your blood flowing and your energy increasing. The moment you begin moving your body, your emotional state will begin to change. Another way to increase your energy, drive and motivation would be to revisit your purpose or your “why”. Go back to that original plan and consider all of the reasons why you wanted to achieve that goal in the first place. If you haven’t considered that part of your plan, this is the most important thing you could do to get yourself energized about doing what you need to do. Having a clear understanding of why it is that you want to accomplish anything is what keeps you on track and helps keep you focused as you work towards your goals! Check out your nutrition and your sleep. Any time you feel yourself lacking energy or motivation, chances are you haven’t been feeding yourself properly or getting an appropriate amount of sleep. No, we can’t burn the candle at both ends - at least not for a long period of time. Your body needs fuel and rest to keep going and there’s no point in trying to fight it. This one seems like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how often we allow it to derail our plans. Make sure you are getting plenty of Vitamin C and that you are not low on Iron, B12 or Magnesium. Oh, and if exercise isn’t one of the goals you’re currently working on, make sure you’re getting a sufficient amount of it. The Victim Mentality : All of us are guilty at one point or another of seeing ourselves as the victim. When it comes to trying to achieve anything in life, it is the fastest and most direct route to failure there is. The moment we make ourselves a victim, we lose any and all power to have any control over the outcomes that we achieve. Being a victim means that we don’t have to take any responsibility. It allows us to sit back and blame our lack of progress on everything - from our jobs, to the government, to our kids, to our parents and even to our partners - someone or something must be responsible for where we are, but it certainly isn’t us! The victim mentality is sneaky too. It comes in the form of an innocent question, such as, “Well why can’t I eat this piece of chocolate cake? I’ve worked hard to get this far!” or “Why shouldn’t I be able to stay up late and relax for a while? I ought to be able to do what I want!” The problem with these questions is that the answers that they give you don’t necessarily align with where you really want to go. A better question might be, “How does this option support me in my goals and my purpose?” Your Sad Story : Let’s face it, we’ve all had it rough at one time or another, but that doesn’t mean that we can use that story to keep holding us back from having the life that we want. Believing that because we haven’t succeeded with everything that we set out to do in the past and therefore will probably fail at this too is a poor excuse for not taking action on our dreams. Deep down, I think we all know that we are capable and worthy. I have yet to hear a person actually say, “No, I don’t think I’m worth it.” We all know we are worth it, don’t we? Your story is anything you choose it should be. If the one you’ve been carrying isn’t working for you, if it is disempowering you or keeping you from doing what you need to do or feeling the way that you need to feel - get rid of it! Let it go! Your story was developed from crap that happened in the past, and therefore, the past is where you need to leave it. Create a new story for yourself today. Design your life based on the things that are important to you and the things that you have control over. Spending any time focused on anything else is a complete and utter waste of your time. Focus on what it is that you want and how you can go about achieving it. The sky is the limit as long as you believe it is! Impatience : One of the biggest challenges facing women today is the desire to want to control everything. It is our basic need for Certainty that gets us into trouble here, because to some degree, we all really do need a certain level of it. But watching a pot of water doesn’t make it boil any faster, and trying to control how quickly things transform into the picture you have in your mind is nothing but futile and silly. I remember back when I was trying to find a house for myself and my children and I created all this stress and pressure for myself because it wasn’t happening as quickly as I thought it should. In other words, it didn’t happen the second I felt I was ready. What a maroon! The very moment I recognized what I was doing and that I was creating all this pressure MYSELF, I instantly felt the tension drain from my body and I got totally relaxed and calm about it. I knew, deep down, that when the timing was right, the perfect house would appear on the horizon and all would work out just as it should. It wasn’t long after that that my perfect little house came back on the market, and I quickly snapped it up and made it my home! We don’t get to have that kind of control, and realistically, I think that’s actually a good thing. There are forces at work in the universe that are far wiser and know much more than we do about things, and they have our back in a much greater way than we could ever imagine. Learn to trust that the thing you are after will come to you when the universe thinks that the timing is right - not necessarily when you do. Keep calm and carry on - do what you need to do and let the universe and all of it’s allies worry about the rest. Divine timing doesn’t run according to our perfectly designed, skillfully crafted, silly human clocks! Lack of Action : We all have plenty of thoughts, ideas and opportunities that come our way in the course of our days. Make sure you get them on paper as quickly as possible and try to learn to capture everything in one place. Don’t leave the sight of a good idea without taking some form of action on it before you go. Opportunity can come in the strangest of forms and unless we have our eyes and ears open, it can pass by as swiftly and easily as it came. Stay focused on what it is that you want to achieve and make sure that you have a crystal clear understanding of why you want it and what you believe it will give you when you get it. Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed by a giant list of meaningless action items. If you’re going to develop a plan, make sure you have a well thought out process in which to follow to achieve it. Get all of your ideas down on paper and then decide which ones are going to have the greatest amount of impact. Set yourself some realistic time frames and tackle those most important action items first. Lastly, learn to chunk all of your ideas and action items into categories so that you can make your life more manageable and a lot less stressful. Make sure you stay well balanced and in alignment with your ultimate purpose at all times. Getting to basque in the glow of your accomplishments is a lot more enjoyable when you are healthy, happy and strong! If you need help staying on track with your goals, need someone who can help you create a powerful and impactful plan or even if you could use to have someone who can hold you accountable to yourself and your goals, contact me to find out how I can help! I offer a complimentary, one-on-one, 2 hour Coaching Consultation Session which can give you a tonne of valuable feedback and introduce you to the tools and strategies of Strategic Intervention. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and Life Strategist, trained by Robbins Madanes. She has spent the better part of a half century studying, researching and learning about personal growth and development, self-help, spirituality, leadership, success, achievement and philosophy. She is a writer, philosopher, life coach, mother, fitness enthusiast, nature lover, book fanatic and divine being of infinite possibilities. She is also the proud author of "Designing Your Life - A Guide to Help You Consciously Create Your Future" and has recently released a new educational program called "2017 - Your Year of Transformation." You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services, on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com , or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com. #SelfSabotage #BadChoices #Motivation #Energy #Drive #VictimMentality #Impatience #Procrastination #Challenges #FollowThrough #Purpose

Having Trouble With Goal Setting?

Making decisions about what we want can often be one of the most challenging exercises of all. The reality is, most of us don't really think about it all that often. After all, it is a BIG question, right? Sometimes it may even feel like a very loaded question as well, because there can be so much stuff attached to it. One of the reasons why I think it seems to hold so much weight for us is because we know that if we make a decision about what we want, it means that we are going to have to take responsibility for making it happen. It isn't always easy to step up to our lives in this way. Besides, life is busy, right? There are so many things to do all the time; who really has the time to be day dreaming? Most of us were not brought up in a culture that was really about going after your dreams. We had chores to do, friends to hang out with and school to worry about - and on top of all that, we had to figure out what we were going to have to do to make sure that we were able to earn a decent living. My own parent's generation considered themselves fortunate enough if they were able to finish High School for heaven's sake! So the idea of setting goals, at least for some, may seem to be a bit of a daunting task. But the truth is that it doesn't have to be that way. The process of setting goals and then creating a plan to achieve them is a process that can be learned, and it really doesn't need to be all that complicated. The main thing to remember is that your goals are your own. It's not about what you believe someone else thinks you should do or even about what you think you should do. It's more about what it is that you actually want for yourself and your life, and designing your life in such a way that it enables you to meet your own needs as well as the needs of others. When we question ourselves deeply enough to discover what is most important to us and what we really value most, and we incorporate those values into our goal setting, we begin to realize that it is in our nature to want to give and to serve other people. This is why I teach my clients how to focus on the ultimate outcomes and results they are after. If you have already designed your goals and you have not yet reached the point where you can clearly see how they relate to serving other people, then your process of goal-setting is not really complete! For those who are struggling with the process, I'd like to offer the following suggestions: When it comes to choosing your goals, begin by thinking about where you would really like to be this time next year. What would you like to have accomplished by the end of this year? If you could have anything in your life be different from what it is now, what would that be? It isn't about what you think someone else thinks it should be, but what it is that you would like to achieve over the coming year. For instance, you may have thought about having a business of your own some day. If that could happen for you, what goal would you like to set for this year that would take you in that direction? You may decide that you would like to have taken the first steps to creating your own business, and this may mean that you want to have a solid business plan created. Another way to think about it is this: Happiness is about feeling like we are making progress. So in order for you to feel like you made some major progress this year, what would have to happen or where would you need to be by the end of this year? What would your ultimate outcome be? It could be that your major goal to accomplish this year would be to have established a new routine that includes all of the elements that are most important to you in terms of your health, fitness and overall wellness and have that actually working in your life. You may also decide that you want to achieve a certain level of balance in your life, but be very clear about how that would look in terms of outcomes. Would it mean that you would have scheduled quality time with your family every week? Would it mean regular trips to the gym or the park? Be specific about it! Whatever goals you choose, you want it to be something that in one year from now, will make you feel that you have taken a major step in the direction you want to go. But remember, it can just be one piece of a bigger pie - it doesn't have to be the whole shebang! The point is not to make it overwhelming, but to make it attainable, realistic and engaging enough for you to follow through. The most important factors are that you focus on the outcome or the result that you are after, and that it is something that YOU want and feel passionate about achieving. Make your goals something that matter to you, something that fuels you and makes you want to commit to accomplishing them. And please remember, if your ultimate outcome does not in any way contribute to improving the lives of yourself or other people, keep drilling down on it until it does. True fulfillment can only ever be achieved by finding ourselves in the service of others! If you would like to have some help with crafting your goals, please contact me to find out how you can take advantage of my complimentary, one-on-one, 2 hour Coaching Consultation. This free session can help you get to the core of your deepest desires and give you the opportunity to create a powerful and impactful purpose driven plan for 2017! About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and Life Strategist, trained by Robbins Madanes. She has spent the better part of a half century studying, researching and learning about personal growth and development, self-help, spirituality, leadership, success, achievement and philosophy. She is a writer, philosopher, life coach, mother, fitness enthusiast, nature lover, book fanatic and divine being of infinite possibilities. She is also the proud author of "Designing Your Life - A Guide to Help You Consciously Create Your Future" and has recently released a new educational program called "2017 - Your Year of Transformation." You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services, on her website at http://tamara052368.wixsite.com/forwardcoaching, or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com. #GoalSetting #PersonalGrowth #Achievement #Contribution #Purpose #Impact

Hope

I lay in bed this morning feeling sorry for myself. My relationship of 3 years was over, my house was in the midst of a reno, scaffolding scaling one side and my front walkway resembling a mini rock quarry with piles of dirt, rock and concrete strewn about and I was on my own to deal with it all. I was having a full on pity party. My phone lit up with a text notification, I had it in sleep mode so as not to be distracted from my self inflicted misery. As if her spidey sense was tingling, a women who I respect and admire was inviting me to be a guest blogger on her blog. My first reaction in my current state of mind was not one of instant excitement, quite the opposite. What could I possibly have of interest to blog about? I pushed the idea aside and numbly logged into Facebook, in doing so stumbled on to a couple of uplifting videos. Inspiring enough to lift my sorry ass out of bed. The shower is where I do my best thinking. Like looking up at the sun coming out from behind the clouds, the steaming water envelopes me with warmth and calm. I realized in that calmness that one of the things I do best is give people hope. In my office I have a large HOPE decal stuck to my glass desk. It kept falling of my wall but I couldn’t bring my self to throw it away. Everyday I speak with clients to assist them with their mortgage needs but it is much more than that. I help clients purchase their first home, going thru divorce, loss of a spouse, building a budget, planning for the future, rebuilding credit, financial distress etc. But beneath the transaction is a person with a story, some of which are heart breaking. In that moment I often share stories of other clients (never divulging their identity of course) in doing so, I usually witness an instant shift in their energy. They realize they are not alone, that their situation is not as dire as they may feel in that moment. In a nutshell I am giving them hope and helping them focus on gratitude. WHAM! It hits me! No, not the cold water, I haven’t drained the hot water tank yet. I need to do for myself what I do best for others. Step one: Realize things could be much worse, Step two: focus on the many things I have to be grateful for. WHAM! It hits me again! I have something to blog about! HOPE. Like love, hope costs nothing to share but it is a priceless gift and we need to give it to ourselves as often as we give it to others. I have a wonderful life, a great circle of family, friends and colleagues, a home (all be it in chaos but it is mine), good health, an amazing career full of untapped potential, a car to get me to and fro, money in the bank and a stocked fridge. But most importantly I have a bottomless reservoir of HOPE which I will continue to dish out every day with a dash of love and a sprinkle of gratitude to who every person who wants a helping and even for those who may not know they need it. Thank you Tamara, you are this woman that I respect and admire. Your coaching has taught me so much about myself and others. I am a better version of myself because of your guidance and friendship. While this wasn’t intended to be a plug for your coaching services you have impacted my personal and professional life profoundly and I can’t help but let anyone and everyone who will listen know it! Most importantly you have given me hope and taught me throughout our sessions that everything I need to be happy, find peace and success is within me, and that “I am enough”. Feel free to share with anyone you feel needs a dose of hope. xo Tonia Power is a Mortgage Advisor with East Coast Mortgage Brokers in St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada. Committed to providing exceptional value and prompt reliable service, Tonia is able to understand the needs of her clients, offer sound, objective and knowledgable advice, provide choices from a multitude of lenders and find the best suited lender based on the client's individual needs. Tonia is very passionate about using her 20+ years of business and teaching expertise in building trust and respect with her clients by ensuring they are educated and supported through out every step of the mortgage process and beyond. #Hope #Empowerment #Compassion #Gratitude #Perspective #Coaching #Support #Guidance #Mortgages

How Long Should You Suffer?

Recently, I've had a few people reach out to me asking about the services I provide. People want to know more about what I do, how my program works and what kind of results they can expect if they decide to work with me. So, of course, I give them the information. Sometimes, people are keen to make the leap. They have a problem or an issue they are dealing with, they've struggled with it for a while, they get the point where they get fed up and suddenly, they decide. That's it. I'm ready for change. The point we reach when the decision becomes easy, is the point at which we reach the threshold of pain . We're faced with challenge, we muddle around in it for a while, we try a couple of strategies, we get frustrated, we give up, we keep experiencing the pain, we try something else, that doesn't work, we try ignoring it, we try masking it, we try to grin and bear it, but there always comes a point when we reach the threshold . The scales tip, our resolve weakens, we come into acceptance of our own limitations and we surrender. "Okay, this is obviously not working. My problem isn't going away. I think I'm finally ready to ask for some help." How long did it take? A week? A month? A year? Maybe 10 years? How long did you make yourself suffer through the pain until you got to the point where you were finally ready to ask for help? Have you ever found yourself in one of those situations where you struggled with something for a REALLY long time, agonizing and fretting over it for weeks or months or years, only to find that, once you made the decision to get help, it actually turned out that it was extremely SIMPLE and EASY to resolve after all? You find yourself thinking, geez, if I had only known it was going to be THAT easy, I would have done it a long time ago! I remember the time I had dislodged a couple of my ribs. The pain was so intense I could barely breathe. Because I had previously used this amazing chiropractor, I knew just what I had to do. I called up and booked an appointment, went in to see him the next day, and in a matter of seconds, he had me back on my feet standing upright with no pain. Voila!
That same chiropractor told me a story of a police officer who had been in to see him suffering from severe back pain. He told him that he had suffered with it for 8 years. Excruciating, debilitating, pain. In one session, the chiropractor had him back on his feet. Pain free. The officer was dumbfounded.
The thing is, when you find somebody who can relieve your pain, someone you know is going to look after you and resolve your issue quickly and easily, you no longer hesitate to seek help. You call them. They agree to see you. They take care of you. You trust them. It is an easy exchange.
Coaching works the same way. People don't get into coaching because they want to scam people. The reason why people get into coaching is because they want to help. They have life experience and expertise, they have known struggle and pain, and they have chosen to enter into a profession where they can help people who are going through things they have more than likely been through themselves. Like myself, most coaches have spent years doing research and personal development because they themselves had a problem they were needing and wanting to solve. Through all that research and effort, somewhere, they managed to find a solution that really works. Once they find that solution, they want to share it with others. The benefit to you, once you decide to hire a coach, is that you get to have access to all that information, without having to spend years trying to find it. IT SAVES YOU TIME, SUFFERING, MONEY AND ENERGY!
Coaching works best when people believe that they have what it takes to solve their problems. A coach's job is not to have all the answers. A coach's job is to help you find your own. Their objectiveness allows them to see things you can't. Their training and experience allows them to hear what you may not even realize you're saying, and interpret it back to you so you can get clarity and perspective around your own thoughts and ideas.
One of the most difficult parts of being a coach is seeing people in pain and knowing you can help them, and accepting that they may not yet be ready to seek help.
People have all kinds of reasons for not asking for help. Most people are very independent. They don't like to ask for help. Most men, in particular, abhor the thought of asking for help. Some people are skeptical of life coaches. They don't know a lot about them and because it isn't yet a licensed profession, some people doubt their ability or their expertise.
In the same way that many people forego the scientifically proven and logical benefits of healthy eating and physical activity for optimal health, people convince themselves that the perceived risk of seeking help is somehow more daunting than continuing to suffer from the pain of their problem . And it completely falls within each person's right to choose that for themselves.
The question I am asking though, is, is it really? It's an interesting subject to consider when we look at the state of the world we are living in today.
Fear keeps people stuck in their pain. It keeps us wandering aimlessly, struggling enormously and perpetuating a generational pattern of suffering.
Our pain affects our families, our children, our communities and our world. There is a global need right now for healing and reconciliation. We need to decide if we are going to be a part of that healing. That choice will determine whether we become a critical part of the solution, or remain an integral part of the problem.
You may believe that your problem is too small or too insignificant to make an impact, but the truth of the matter is that it all matters. Your problem matters. And the reason why is because it impacts more people than you yourself. When you suffer, the world suffers. When you rejoice, the world rejoices with you. And you lead people by your example of change.
Wherever you are, whatever it is that you may be going through right now, I can promise you that there is a simple solution. Chances are, it will be a lot easier than you think. The only question you need to ask yourself is, how long should you continue to suffer? What's the biggest challenge you are facing in your life right now? How is that impacting you and what would it mean for you if you could overcome it? I can show you how to overcome this and any other kind of challenge quickly and easily. I can teach you how to solve complex problems with simple solutions, so you can get the results you want while saving you time, money and pain. Would that be something you would be interested in?
Contact me to find out how you can receive a one hour Complimentary Coaching Consultation Session. This free session can help you get clear about what has been holding you back, and give you the opportunity to create a powerful strategic action plan to help you achieve your goals! Click on the link below to schedule your free Consultation Session today! https://www.tamaradodgson.com/consultation-session Chat. Feel Better. Repeat. About the author Tamara Dodgson is a Certified Strategic Intervention Coach and owner with Forward Coaching and Consulting Services. Utilizing the most powerful principles and strategies from master Strategic Interventionists, Tamara offers a sound, knowledgeable and dependable methodology for change, whether it relates to matters of the individual, couple, family, partnership, company, organization or community. She has successfully helped her clients navigate through hundreds of unique and challenging life situations, often involving complex issues such as addictions, separation and divorce, and criminal proceedings. Tamara empowers her clients by helping them identify what they want, teaching them a successful and proven methodology for change and providing them with measurable and lasting results. You can connect with her on Facebook at Forward Coaching & Consulting Services , on LinkedIn at Tamara Dodgson , on her website at www.tamaradodgson.com , or via email at coaching@tamaradodgson.com . # Empowerment #Denial #Change #Impact #Exploration #Balance #Boundaries #Coaching #Needs #Suffering #Threshold #Help #Resistance #Courage #Surrender